It appears that I don't let God have full, oh gee, whats the word....
It appears i don't want God to be in every part of my life, but its not 'ignorance' but i just plain don't understand.

Thats the thing though, i don't think i can understand.
When i say change i specificlly meant, but failed to mention: worldly changes.

Once again being brutally honest with myself, i have NO PROBLEM with God changing me, its just something inside me, i can't let it go.

I want him to change me, but that last heart string that must come undone, i can't seem to come to terms with myself.

I don't have a problem with pride.

Its almost like this (and i don't know how else to word it)

It is like i don't know how to say:
"God, I surrender all."
And mean it.

Arg! Those damn walls.