Hey qwerty!

Wow! Sounds like a rough little past, but at the same time it sounds like you had a lot of support (or at least a lot in comparison to what most BLers get). My one worry is that because you saw a counselor that you being a BL would somehow be on a record - and those records seem to have a way of getting out to the wrong people in the case of people like us. Well, I guess thats all the more reason to live a wholesome life, right?

But ya, I totally know what you are saying. And I agree with Blackstone to a certain extent - that it isn't technically wrong if our mind is in the right places. But just think, if a straight guy looked at women as often as I look at boys, he would probably be called a bit of a perve (or at least a "player").

Kinda funny, this Sunday at church I was noticing the same thing. After the mass I would immediately pick out all of the boys (my boydar is getting pretty finely tuned, as is yours from what I hear :P ), and I'd throw a couple of glances at them, and if I knew them I would go and say hi or ruffle their hair or sumthing. And I noticed that, and I was kind of taken aback by it. My thoughts are somewhere along the lines of "woh - cutie at 4:00". Not sexual or what I could call lustful, but maybe not as wholesome or objective as possible.

So - is it wrong? Well, like Blackstone said, not technically. But really, according to society's standards we should control our stares a little more. I think we get away with it more often because others aren't looking the same way and so they don't catch us. Its just not expected. So, I don't know. Maybe we should watch ourselves - put ourselves in any other person's feet and say that if we would get a caution for looking at girls that much, maybe we should tone things down a little.

Hmm, kinda makes us/me sound a little crazed, doesn't it? Oh well, cause I don't think that we really are. Given, I'm head over heals for boys. But that doesn't mean I can't control it. This is just another chance to show that I can exercise some control, without going to the extreme (never looking at boys again, etc).

Anyways, good to hear that you had a safe trip. Talk to ya soon!

Graces of God,
Deliverance