After reading this post, I wanted to mention that your experience doesn't follow the same pattern as I have observed discussed here, nor that of other boy-boards.

Unless you yourself are under about 16, the pattern you have described is not actually consistent with boylove (pedophilia) but rather it is consistent with internet and porn addiction, risk-taking behavior patterns, and (as you rightly mention) conditioning (through reading and identifying with comments that created a false self-image). Thus, God helped to deliver you from these (clearly) destructive behaviors and freed you from a set of attractions that were not your own.

It is the belief of the entire "ex-gay" and "ex-pedo" (for lack of a better term for something that doesn't relly exist) movement that this is how all paraphilias (homosexuality, pedophilia, etc.) are formed, but it is not the case.

Orientation is proving repetedly to be cause much earlier, perhaps entirely based in genetics. But more to the point, both adult homosexual attractions and pedophilic attractions generally show themselves gradually during or just before puberty. THe general pattern in pedophiles that I have observed (and many others have reported here and elsewhere) is attraction to one's peers or people just barely younger than oneself as a child, then growing older while the catagory of people to whom one is attracted to does not (or grows much slower).

Do you see the difference?

I'm not saying that you didn't have a problem thatr God freed you from; that I can see. I am suggesting that you misunderstood the label on those problems because having been misled was the root of those problems in the first place!

Love in Christ,
~CSL