And we've only just begun, brother. If you think about it, we haven't really been alive very long at all, when compared to eternity. And our lives on this earth are relatively short. I believe all Christians have to do a lot of changing and growing into that which God has designed them to be. It's crazy to think that we can do all that growing and changing in just so many years, whether it's 2, 20, or 200. We tend to limit God to that which we can understand or comprehend, but He is way above our understanding.

We MAA's have a problem which we feel is paramount in importance. We think that if we aren't freed from our attraction, then something must be wrong with our faith. Perhaps God isn't listening, perhaps we aren't doing something right. Maybe if we just try harder, and harder, and harder. That's what I've done...try, try, try...until I got sick of trying. I got sick of it because I could see it wasn't getting me anywhere. I have never been able to be free of this attraction. And I almost hate to say this, but I'm sick of trying.

I have put it all in God's hands and have decided to work on the things I know I can have some success in. Things like what I do with my feelings. How can I live a Godly life with others? How can I find God's purpose in my life, despite the way I feel about boys? These are things I can do something about.

I am still sexually attracted to boys, but I love God with all my heart. Is there something wrong with my faith? I don't think so. Not when it is my faith in God that enables me to behave in a good way, especially when it concerns children. I have embraced celebacy with gladness, because I know it's the right thing to do. Only God could have enabled me to do that. Yes, Cat, I think His grace is more than sufficient for us. He is a lot bigger than any problem we have. His love is greater than the fallen, bad stuff the world has put into us since birth.

That's how I feel, anyway.

With Love,
Chris