Hey T-Money,

I don't necessarily think your friend was "raped". In as much as I think rape implies physical force and voilence.

At some level your friend concented.
Even at 14 he had a choice.... He could have said no... but he chose to say yes because he was afraid.

Now I hold the adult 100% responsible for this situation. The priest was WRONG to do as he did. He took advantage of the boy and has injured him.

I mention the concent issue because your friend may well be feeling the consequences of his choice. Something like... "If only I hadn't have been so scared I could have said 'no'". And could thus blame himself.

Secondly, I think the damage is emotional not physical.... from the information you have given. So how he THINKS about the situation is going to do as much damage as the situation itself. The fact that he was afraid, the fact that he didn't really want to participate. What if he enjoyed it on some level and feels guilty about that. Feeling cheated all these years, not taking action to prosecute the offender, dealing with his own sexuality in light of what happened... all of these issues can swim around in someone's head for many years.

Depending on if your friend "likes" being in the victum roll (since you can justify all sorts of cop outs and gain all sorts of sympathies when your a victim) also has an impact.

I think the best help he can get now... is 1). Forgive the priest (this is for his own sake not the Priests)... its the only way to avoid bitterness.
2). Take responsibility for his own actions, reactions and thoughts.
3). Build his life with what he has rather than doesn't have
4). Take action to go and deal with the priest... talk to him ... prosecute him... expose him... whatever is right.

Just my thoughts
Cat.