"You've been raped" is a starting point. I should have made it clear that once he's accepted that he was raped, he will be better able to accept advice and counseling typically given to rape victims.

As far as convincing yourself that you've been hurt or others convincing you of the same, it happens all the time. On the flip side, some people who actually ARE hurt by others convince themselves that it is they, not the perpetrator, who is to blame. But back to the subject at hand...

It's not uncommon for teens and college students to convince themselves they are victims of "date rape" when in fact they either consented or their actions were indistinguishable from an affirmative consent.

It's not uncommon for two teens in love to "get carried away with each other" then one or both has regrets later. In this case, the person may start to feel guilty and subconsciously convince herself that she never indicated consent, or her parents or friends may make her feel guilty and her subconscious may do the same thing. In this case, her own feelings of regret or the guilt imposed by others combines with the subconscious to create a "rape victim" where no rape occurred. This can be devastating to the young lady and, if charges are pressed, devastating to the young man and his parents' wallet.