I'm going out of town for a few days, but wanted to post a quick reply. I browsed your site, and it appears that you are the only one asking reasonable questions and not relying totally on preconceived notions about what a pedophile is. So you deserve a few answers. I can only speak for myself, but I believe my views are shared by the majority here. The best way to find out what we all believe would be to read all the posts, both on this page and in the archives. But that would take quite a while. I hope you at least read a few. From what I read at your site, most people there don't seem to have read ANY posts. This site does not encourage or condone sex with minors, consensual or not. It is a place we come to for mutual support in living our lives WITHOUT molesting kids. The 2 things most of us have in common is that we are born again Christians and have a sexual attraction to boys. Being a Christian is a choice. Being sexually attracted to boys is not. Most experts agree that pedophilia can't be "cured," so we strive to live a life pleasing to God in spite of our attractions. I don't believe God wants us to be sexual with kids (or anyone else we are not married to for that matter). I also believe that sexual contact with kids is almost always harmful to the child. And, of course, it is also illegal. For those 3 reasons, I abstain from being sexual in any way with a boy. I have prayed many times for God to remove my attraction to boys, but He has not done so. So I have learned to live with it. This board helps a great deal.

Being a pedophile does not automatically mean you are a molester. Being a pedophile is actually a lot more than just the sexual attraction. Most pedophiles have a strong sincere love for kids. That's why you read about YFs (young friends) a lot on pedophile boards. Having a YF does not mean having a sex partner. It means being in a mentoring role with a boy because you get pleasure out of helping him in his journey thru life. This has nothing to do with sex, though whenever anyone reads about a pedo having a YF, that is the conclusion they always jump to. Personally, I haven't had a YF in many years. But I have had 2 boys in my life that were very special to me. They are adult men now, and have moved away. But I look back on those times with very fond memories, and there was no sex involved. I think you would be surprised at how many men who work with kids ARE pedophiles. But you would never know it because they are never sexual with the boys. Most people would say that pedophiles should never work with kids because the temptation would be there. If someone can't control their sexual desires, then I agree. But most pedophile can control themselves, just like most "normal" heterosexual men can control their desire to be sexual with women. We aren't dogs in heat, you know.

The problem we pedophiles face in society is that we must stay hidden and guard our secret. We are constantly harassed and condemned, not for what we DO, but for what we FEEL. No one chooses to be a pedophile. Could YOU choose who you are attracted to? Hating pedophiles merely for something that is inside us only serves to isolate us and make this world a more dangerous place for kids. Without support, it is more likely that a pedophile will act on his desires. Counceling isn't generally a good option with mandatory reporting laws. If a councelor thinks you might be a danger to kids, he/she is bound by law to report you. And if someone does offend, and then goes to counceling for help, there is no leeway at all for the judgment of the councelor. He MUST report it. But if someone is having trouble controlling their desires, then counceling would be a good idea. But generally, these online forums is all we have. The funny thing is that Perverted Justice actually succeeded in shutting this and other pedo sites down for a short time. This is an organization that claims to be trying to protect kids, and they shut down a site meant to help pedophile NOT molest.

I think many people just need someone to hate. I'm not sure why. But since it is no longer PC to hate blacks, or Jews, or gays, we are the next logical target. But unfortunately, pedophiles aren't going to go away, no matter how much abuse is piled on. So society really does need to accept the fact that there are always going to be adults who are attracted to kids, and learn to deal with it in a more productive manner than just putting a blanket condemnation on every pedophile. But I doubt I will see that in my lifetime.

Don't know what you mean about the "fake beer." You'll have to explain that one. But I won't be able to reply for a few days. Thanks for being civil.

Dakota