So I ran into this thing called life the other day
Submitted by Youth?? on 2007-01-24 23:32:13, Wednesday
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And i have been dealing with it ever since then. Im not really torn up about my YF anymore, i just don't want him to forget me, or to think he can't trust me, and don't worry everything it okay. I do miss him, but i don't long to have a sexual relationship with him anymore, i just want to be appropriatley physical with him, and make him laugh, and to see him smile. He has changed a bit JUST this past week due to puberty. And its kinda wierd because i am literally watching him grow up. He has changed alot since i met him in August. But in a way i have come to terms to myself. I am trying to stop being depressed about the future, and think about the time God has blessed me with, to spend with my YF. I have got to stop being afriad of tomorrow. I am sorry, but i am getting my geek on. I was watching Star Wars with my YF last night, and these words stuck with me; Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate, leads to suffering... How geeky, yet how true. I can't tell you how many times that exact path has carried me. And yet, my mission at the moment it to stay still. Listen to God. And i am trying. I have also found a more then compaitble young woman for me (which you have no idea how it is around here, all the girls are really gross.) And i have spent quite a good bit of time with her. Heck, all though she is almost 3 years older than me. But don't worry, im not even gonna think about getting touchy (that doesn't mean sexual) until im Seventeen, (very soon) and yes these apply with my current laws....but i thought about it, and guys, i really want to be a daddy. (in many years to come, mind you) I have also thought about what else i might want to do as a career. I really want to be a child/adolecent psyciatrist. I want to mentally understand them, as hard as it may be, i really do. And something else bothers me. How come is it that everytime "gays" come up its always about gay guys. Gay girls are just as nasty, if not worse. And i hate how evryone thinks that lesbians are okay. But gay guys aren't. Thats reterded. And all these guys who say "Gay guys are sick, but two women are fine by me" Doesn't that mean that they enjoy same-sex sexual encounters, mabey not with themselves but with women, doesn't that make them kind of; well gay???? ---Youth--- |
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