Okay guys. This is it, this is the last battle. The final throwdown. I must make my heart win control over my mind. I have talked to my YF (no, pandora, not a "child" we have a two years differece) and i just have this burning passion and care for him.... i love him. This is my heart.

I also have this desire to engage is sexual acts with him (don't we all sometimes) and i tend to be jelous of him, and what not... -this is my mind.

The two are conflicting. And this is what is causing the depressions in my life. My heart wants to please God. My heart also longs for a life long female companion, my heart doesn't want to engage with sex, my heart stands with God.

My mind, i believe is what is influenced by this world, not accepting who i am, nor comprehending that one mistake could take it all away. My mind was also what made me compteplate suicide a couple of years ago. So guys, what i ask for is this....

I need biblical advice... i must also accept that i CANNOT overcome this without God... and constructive critisim if neccesary...

Please guys, im awaiting your responses. Oh and ahead of time, Pandora, unless you have anything useful to say... um.... Shh!