"If he gets trapped in the frenetic, repetitive rhythyms of the boy-dance, any boys that follow him will be trapped there as well. If he does the slow, grave, man-dance, then the boys will never be interested."

My gosh, Didaskalos, you have a gift for words and understanding complex ideas in a simple way. I would do just about anything to have that clarity of thinking. At least we have you to bring it down to our level. Thanks!

I'm not sure I completely buy into your theory that a man must completely leave the domestic domain unless you're looking at it from a completely male oriented point of view. By "domestic", I take it that you are referring to the female world - which is the context in which you have used that word in past posts. Interestingly, every one of us has a MOTHER and father. In a healthy marriage, the man must have some of those domestic qualities - which parallels your dance theory - in order for the wife to feel appreciated. In every relationship there must be a flux.

I've been working on my own theories about the nature of this in-between entity between two people (or two groups). If it were to be mapped out, it would be a huge tangled web of billions of connections between people. Funny thing is, it resembles the neural network of a brain. So... my theory is that a society functions like a brain, but on a larger scale. It brings the question of whether conventional psychology has the same effect on this macro-brain. Could be dangerous in the wrong hands. I digress.

A boy still needs some of that domestic influence to nurture his developing person. If a man is to connect with him, by nature there must be some domestication within that flux.

It takes a special man to actually BE a man and be able to relate to children. I wonder how many teachers, youth pastors, YMCA workers, Boy Scout leaders, etc are just like us? If our noses suddenly glowed a bright luminescent blue to indicate who we are - the world would surely fall apart.

Part of me likes who I am because I can do so much for boys - it's in my blood. Another part of me hates where my thoughts lead if I don't keep them in check. Every Superman has his kryptonite.

Just wondering - what sources do you base your dance theory on?