My young friend has occasionally commanded me to scratch his back and this has never caused a problem. One time just before I was going away on a trip I had to scratch his back for over an hour as we watched a movie on TV.

He's straight, so it's hard to know what sort of symbol of caring he will accept. I just wait for him to tell me.

A friend of mine commented, "oh that's normal in families - I had to rub my daughter's back every night when she went to bed when she was 15."

I did tell my YF that not everyone might understand the gesture and he might want to keep it private.