and if anyone suggests otherwise they are probably fooling themselves; I suspect the issue is that once we've associated sexual attractiveness with group A, then we will always find group A sexually attractive. And of course this is an issue for married people who still notice others. But we still get a choice about what we actively fantasise about; choosing the older over the younger where the choice is available is always wise. And the immediate prayer: 'Thank you God for that beautiful boy and for the smile he's put in my heart - bless him and draw him to yourself' can be a positive use of the energy that seeing a boy generates. Easy? Of course not - but it's only as we struggle do we grow spiritually into the people God wants us to be.