I got more bad news about my yf today.

I find it so difficult to balance our need to just forget about all that and have a good time with our need to address the serious issues and prepare for any eventuality.

To make matters worse, I have a recurring vision of him laying in a coffin that haunts me throughout the day.

One way or the other, I don't care which, but I want this to end. It's the not knowing that is the worst.