I try to pretend that Andy is in my room - and it's 2006 again. I'm 16 and he's thirteen. I keep trying to play back the events in my mind. Then I try to create new ones. I try to imagine his face, his body - his smell and voice. But in the end - I am alone.

For me it's the exact opposite. I can be in a room with 400 people - and I'm still alone. It's nice most of time, but the emptiness gets to you - no matter who you are.