idk what to do. I feel so much like i am living a double life. On the one hand I sit here at my computer and i find myself finding pictures of shirtless boys alot, and thinking about boys alot romatically that is.

On the other hand i am active in my church, i even help out with the youth ministry and have great mentoring type relationships with many boys.

Now at times when I am alone I can think about some of the boys I know romantically but when I am around them I would never think like that, its like i'm a different person.

I guess I almost feel as if perhaps satan himself is like enticing me i guess you could say when i am alone and have a computer handy. I don't know what to do, I really feel legitimately called to youth ministry but i don't really want to risk these feeling getting out of control, and once i satisfy whatever urge is there, I just feel so ashamed.

Anyone else been though this, any suggestions?