One of the issues that underlies the negative reaction that gays sometimes meet when they come out to their friends is the confusion that the news creates for the listener; is he my friend or is it a matter of a sexual attraction? In the case of your Scotty, the sexual relationship you had was in the past, and he may well prefer that it stay that way. You are looking for a lot more from him than perhaps he is expecting - especially given the hint implicit in his having a girlfriend. I'm therefore dubious about telling him how much you love him - it's very unlikely to end well, and may go horribly wrong; on the whole joining the Navy sounds like a good solution - without any self revelation to Scotty.

If you come out to him it could have the effect of totally destroying any chance of your returning to your family if he reacts badly and tells them about it. The only plausible positive outcome is if you end up in a long term relationship with him; is that a seriously conceivable possibility?