Hi dude,

Welcome to cblf.

Your post strikes several chords in me.
I was struggling when I first got here too.... and yes this place really did help me. A LOT.

Secondly, I can relate to the pining over a boy.
If I can give you some constructive encouragement.... as a younger person when I feel for a boy he became the center of my existance... then when he was gone I fell apart and had a breakdown. As a more mature person I realised that a boy... or any other person really can't meet our need for that level of connection. One can withdraw in such a revelation and never give one's heart again... or one can turn to the Lord.
I have found, that with the Lord as my supply things with boys are very different.
Significanly... I seek to be connected to church community. Having a good nextwork of adult friends you can lean on who can encourage you in your walk with God and pray for you etc... puts you in a healthy place so that when you meet the next special boy you are not in a needy place and your relationship can be focused on you being the giver... and you having something substantial (in terms of emotional stability) to give.

Look forward to having you on the board
Blessings
Cat.